Self Realization lesson 2

Till last year, I get angry very easily and quite frequently. I become so obsessed with myself that sometimes I dint speak to my wife for more than 24 hours. This looks quite crazy and unbelievable to me now if I look back in a hindsight in the sense how can I hurt myself and others for so long. Yes, when we get angry we are the first one to get hurt. But today, I think if everything or small small things keep on making me angry, then doesn’t it mean that I giving my control in hands of others. 

For instance, think if the people have the power to play with my mood, then how can I expect my mood to remain stable. Give it a thought. First of all, we have to understand that I should have complete control over my thoughts. If someone had said something rude or harsh, I have a choice. I have a choice to react instantly or to respond. I have a choice to become angry or to ignore or to put myself in his shoes or to remain calm. People can only say rude things but they cannot enter inside us and control our thoughts. It is very much possible that we can have control on our thoughts even faced by something unfavorable. I would only advise to keep your remote control with you. If you are driving to your workplace and in the midst of traffic jam, everyone seems to work against you like Autowallah giving you side, Bike rider driving rash and you are losing your temper, then you need to look back and go deeper to understand how weak you are if everything external is enough to make you disturb. Sorry, No you are not weak at all but you have forgotten that you have the remote control of your happiness. You just have to remind yourself that no one has the control to control your mood. I can pretty much understand that inculcating such thought process can be difficult and time taking but there is no harm in adopting this and practicing. One thing I am sure it works. It works for me, it will work for you. It has worked for thousands of souls out there. Just believe it and remember your task when something is making you angry, it’s time to snatch your remote.

 Check my another post in this series Self realization here.

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Self realization lesson 1

There is 1 thing that I learned very hard way. My belief become more strong when I listened again by some of the best speakers.

My personnel take about competition.

Whenever I tried competing with other people, I always performed very well, competition does boosts my performance but only for a short amount of time and after that I break down. But whenever I am competing with myself such that to improve myself every day without competing with anyone just myself only then I sustain.

Competition is just a external short term motivation that help you to excel for some time but if you want to sustain, you have to bring the zeal from inside and nothing can help you in doing that except your thoughts.

Also, competition does not let you enjoy your journey as it just focuses on ends. But life is all about journey. We have limited destinations and milestones and this life is all about journey connecting those. So, it is very important that journey should be beautiful. Even if you purchase any flight or rail ticket, it always says have a safe journey.

I remember 1 instance during my morning walk in botanical garden.It was told to me by 1 old person as a part of story sharing session in laughter club. He told that 1 youngster started walk, then run, then he started using stopwatch and then he target to increase his speed. There is nothing wrong in this but he get so obsesses with timings that he forgets to enjoy the gift of life i.e. morning walk. After sometime, he get bored of this and started hitting gym. On the other hand, there are people who never misses their morning walk, they are not worried about timings and all, they just enjoyed their morning time with the company of nature. They may be slow but are regular.

And miles to go before I sleep. . .  .  .  .  .  .  .    .      .           .           .             .    . . . . .  Robert Frost

Check my another post in this series Self realization here.

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Can you make money by Blogging? I can't

An honest Confession

Having a good relationship with writing, I also thought once that there is no harm in earning some money through blogging. 

After all, turning your passion into profession is the mantra of present times. 

Let me share my experience with the same:

Powered with the thought of earning money and increasing readership by bringing traffic, whenever I sit down to write, I was always a dead duck. The truth is that thinking too much about my readers diluted my thoughts completely. Not only this, I was deviating from my mainstream purpose of writing which is driving pleasure from it. 

I believe writing is not something which can be produced on whim. 

Though we (me & writing) share a good relationship, we often fight with each other like every relationship. Sometimes, when writing wants the time, I am not able to give the time due to my job/family restrictions and sometimes, when I have the mood and sit at my desk, she is not willing to strike me perhaps that is what the people calls writer’s block.

So, I believe it can be difficult to continue for long if your motivation is extrinsic. Unless you write for some intrinsic factors, your blog cannot be a hit. 

Over to you. 

How do you feel about the idea of making money by blogging?

Note: This post was inspired from some discussions going on today’ 3^rd blogger meet in Hyderabad. 

Tribute to my Grandfather - Part 3

This post is in continuation to my last 2 posts and the last one.

1. http://atlasshrugged-eccentric.blogspot.in/2013/02/u-turn-in-blogs-vision-and-tribute-to-m.html

2. http://atlasshrugged-eccentric.blogspot.in/2013/03/tribute-to-my-grandfather-part-2.html

After the holi ended, his end was also quite near. Although his health is improving, his mood was getting worse. I remembered the incident when he tore the 5 rs note. He was like a kid in those days. His activities are not like that of matured man. I once read a poem “The seven ages and it said that the 1^st and 7^th stages are exactly similar and very few people in this world experience this 7^th and last stage. I like his attitude. What happened once in last days that he asked for a pomegranate juice and that was not allowed. My grandmother told him to get him the juice of Mausami. I told her, let him drink pomegranate juice. She agreed and I don’t know why I said this perhaps it was in my subconscious mind that now he can be dead any time. All these things keep happened and the doom day comes, I didn’t remember the exact date. Let me tell you about the day from the very beginning. Night before the black day, I was in the hospital. In the morning, pintoo chacha came and I was asked to leave. Further, I was given certain instructions to purchase so much food from the Sargadho and give it to kodi aashram and also to go to gaushala where the holy cows live to donate some money over there for the grass, diet of the cow. After finishing these things, I went straight to home and slept. It was around 6,7 pm when my mother woke me up informing me, he was no longer among us.

Babaji was the word I used for him. He always asks me to sit in his room while dinner but I talk to him for a while and then went into my room. I was such a pathetic couch potato who didn’t understand the value. He keeps coming into my dreams and still threatens me some times, haha, it was a funny. I think today also, he would come to my dreams and to tell me how I was going on the blog about him, whether to include anything or erase anything. He was such a darling. There are lot of incidents that I remember quite vividly about him. There are also certain events about which today I feel guilty. There were days when I didn’t respect him at all and argues him, totally ignore him but gradually, I started about his way of thinking and emotions as I am growing. May be same would happen to me and even worse, this is life.

He was also the topic when I was drinking with my brother in Fox, Gurgaon. Everybody on our family is so grateful to him. He was the one who decided to switch to job after his retirement as my father died when I was small, he advised my mother to become a teacher. He decided that we both should continue our school It was he who decided to construct the shops in our garden. It was the most difficult of the decision of his life as we all know how much close is the garden to his heart. Efforts never go waste and when the time was come to reap the benefits of his efforts, he passed away. His decisions are so fruitful to us today. He makes us feel proud always. One thing I always learned from him is to live with proud. He was very passionate and once when I went with him to distribute Diwali gifts, somebody told him why do you drink? My Baba simply replied, it was my passion and the people lives for their passion. Those were also the great days when every year I used to go to him to distribute gifts in the morning in chacha’s car Fiat. These memories also keep flashing. Mostly, dhadkan music was played in the car as it was the only cassette in the car. As a result of which, whenever I listen to the songs of this movie, I got lost in my younger days which I spend with my babaji. I like the way my baba and his attitude was respected by everybody.

Tribute to my Grandfather - Part 2

This post is in continuation to my last post.

http://atlasshrugged-eccentric.blogspot.in/2013/02/u-turn-in-blogs-vision-and-tribute-to-m.html

I caught a train from Lucknow. Its Lucknow Chandigarh, I usually prefer this train because I know how to get berth in this train without the reservation, in fact process is same in all the cases, I would rather say I know what the TT charges in this case. I was very lucky to catch this train as the time was not sufficient but still one thing we learn in colleges is rash driving. Here comes its application. In the meantime, I also enquired my brother if it was the truth what the mother said or something else. My brother confirmed and told he would leave Delhi tomorrow morning along with bua and fufaji and of course my cousins. It was a very chilly night and the rain was falling continuously  It appeared to me for a moment if there is something wrong seriously as the god was also supporting my eyes. It was of course very serious but during such times, it’s a tendency of the mind to be steered towards negative and worst repercussions. I talked to the tt, got the birth and those were the days, when I have started reading. I have said reading because Atlas shrugged was my first serious reading of the life. It also helps me in bad times. As I woke up, I had a cigarette and waited for the destination. My mind was full of what-if questions. It was heavily raining and the environment was very depressed. As I landed in Saharanpur, I got a call from my brother. They have just entered in Saharanpur at around 8am and as the arrival time of my train was also the same, on the top of it, it was raining, So they called me to know where I have reached. When I informed them, they came at station to receive me and then we all finally went directly to the hospital. I always feel a kind of shyness in company of my relatives. I don’t know whether it is natural or due to my other mental requirements. 

After we exchanged the greetings in the hospital, there was a kind of contact of eyes between me and my grandfather that dampen my eyes and spirit little. But I try to remain normal, as soon as we entered, condition of DM is getting worse and someone told me to get the Gangajal from the house of Dr. Jaipal Uncle whose house is very close. I walked in the rain to the house unaware of the whether it was tears or water, I asked for the same. This was another point where I felt little shyness. I went back to the hospital and my grandmother helped him to swallow the gangajal. In Hindu mythology, something rubbish is believed about gangajal and its effect or what so ever. I think I shouldn’t say the water rubbish but who knows is it really the gangajal. Haha…its normal in our mythology but let it be, we shouldn’t make fun of it. One must try to accept people and things and traditions as they are and not as he perceived. After spending some time, we were asked to go to home and then bring lunch after a gap of 3, 4 hours. I don’t know who went along with me, but one thing that I remember was that I left the hospital on Activa.

 The best thing is when two People love each other very much, it becomes difficult to express. This case requires no extra explanation. Beauty and love is in the eyes of beholder as said by Shakespeare, in fact I would say respected Shakespeare. The days passed like this, DM began to recover slowly, relatives left, my brother plan to left on holi. 

Holi also comes, I went to railway station to drop my brother. That holi was not the most colorless. There were Holi’s even horrible and depressing than that. Those were the days when my disagreement was at the peak against those who preaches Holi is the most colorful festival. Of course, it was a bad argument.

 Things comes and goes, life moves on. Life waits for nobody and the most mystic element i.e., time heals everything. 

Stay tuned! I will continue it further.